Hey mister…

Coupla days ago I was riding BopOp’s Globe (an upright, diamond-frame bike) home from the train. I was cursing my strained pelvic floor (rather than thinking about how to fix my recumbent) when one of those small ironies of bicycling occurred.
With perhaps a slight redefinition of irony, let’s explore this and see what comes out.

Coming around a long slow corner I pulled my head out of it’s slump to notice a vehicle in an unusual location. It was stalled on the far side of the street and a disheveled man was just getting out with a small gas can. As I made eye contact he ironied me.

Hey! Can you spare a brother a gallon of gas?

In my current condition I wasn’t real quick, and the question actually stunned me for a moment, but I still had the wits to come up with this retort as I rode by;

Sorry man, all I got is burritos!

I chuckled to myself all the way home and even tried coming up with a better reply.
I only came up with

Looks like you need to get a bike!

I think the burrito’s one was better with all due respect to the zeropergallon.com website but I think this remains one of the great opportunities, a TON of material, for a truly good one-liner.

Can you think of a better one (I’m lookin at you Jame)?
I kinda want to have a ringer pre-loaded for the next time somebody asks me for a gallon of gas…while riding my bike.
And, if your retort can pull double duty for when someone in the stall asks me, standing at the urinal,

Hey! Can you spare a brother a square?

…well, if you can do that you will get special recognition on blief.
I am the judge and jury on this one and I still might be the winner cause the burrito line was good.