Category: bliefs

I don’t often want to complain (or feel like I am complainin’) on this blog. I try to keep it light and family friendly.
But there is an aspect of blief.net that serves as a journal of events. So, years from now I might go back and recall Bork Uncle or reread one of my more popular posts about Dandelions.

This is one of those posts.

I don’t want to remember to drink plenty of water.
I don’t do want to forget the pain.
I don’t want to forget the day “Dada Had a Kidney Stone”.

I am still not clear as to whether “events” have passed, as it were, but right now I am relatively pain free and happy to write about it and share more than I ever thought I might.

Monday I noticed the telltale signs. I will spare you details as this is still a happy blog and not rooted in medical reality. Sometimes I like to push the truth around for artistic effect but let’s just say there was stuff in there that shouldn’t be in there – and you know urine you’re in trouble when it looks like coca-cola.

By Wednesday afternoon I had met with my doctor and some analysis strongly suggested that indeed “Dada Had a Kidney Stone”. Wednesday night there was little left to dispute.

Pain
The worst pain in my short life. After waking up Monya for yet another babysitting stint at oh-dark-thirty The Mommy drove me to the ER, the good one…in Bellevue.
I tell you that even knowing how much I detest the close one I wasn’t sure it was the right choice about 1/2 way there. Turns out it probably was. Remembering just how long The Mommy waited for pain relief when she had her appendix out we probably did a darn sight better at Overlake, even with the drive.

I digress.
The Mommy, by the way, was not happy with the reversal of fortunes. She (and we) are much more accustomed to the shoes being on the others foot. Now she knows why I speed drive hurriedly in those situations and now I know why she yells at me when I do.

Back on track
So, here I am, writhing in pain (the nurses words not mine) and the docs are discussing which pain meds to administer, about where they might get it, and who should do it.
Mind you, they were doing this expeditiously I am sure, but in my state of mind time was elongated and every word took ten times longer to travel through the air. Mine didn’t. I answered questions before they finished their statements with single, clipped, answers.

Mr. Writhing-in-Pain, are you allerg…
NO
…ic to any medica…ok.

Have you ever had a kid…
NO
…ney stone bef…ok.

Do you have a primary care phy…
CELMER – C.E.L.M.E.R
sician…ok.

I have to mention that on the way to the ER I was thinking about just how much medicine I wanted them to give me. I thought, “just enough to knock the top off of this” I don’t want to be so whacked out on some crazy drug that I can’t feel anything.

By the time the nurse finally got to the point where she was about to put the needle in my arm I didn’t care if, in fact I was wishing for, an entire dose that could stop a rhino. She said

You’re gonna feel a…
FINE
…big poke.

I didn’t feel anything, in my arm anyway. In fact, if it would have meant whacking off my arm at the elbow in order to get better access to a vein I would have agreed.

Finally, about 2-3 minutes (that felt like about thirty) after they gave me the painkiller in the IV I was brought down to a level where I could speak in full sentences.

No more writhing
So they took me in for a CT scan, for verification purposes, and the doc later tells me that it is pretty small, only 2mm. “Yer gonna be fine.” Like somehow because it is small I don’t have bragging rights or something. Fine whatever. I have since learned that the tube it is in (the ureter) is around 3-4 mm in diameter. He probably said I would be fine knowing that my stone wasn’t nearly as big as my ureter. Based on my experience I would venture that the measurement they are taking is outside diameter.

Now 2 mm is about the size of the head of a pin – just what does that mean? I looked it up, for your benefit and find that it is about the size of the head of a pin.

Hm…I don’t think that quite cuts it. That just doesn’t do it justice. It’s too smooth, too simple.

I imagine it looks more like this.

Or even this.

But it ends up feeling more like this.

And that’s even in the right spot too.

Okay, enough reliving the pain.
Enough complaining.
This too shall pass.

This morning I stopped and helped a fellow biker, in the I-90 tunnel. He broke his tire lever on his 4th flat tire of the morning.
As I rode away from that short rest I thought I should have just given him that one because I have two, they are practically disposable items. Oh well.
Compare and contrast that with what happened next; about 15 minutes later on the waterfront.

I was riding a little quickly, near the 15mph speed limit, for the multi-use trail alongside the road but not recklessly.
I usually choose the road because there are just too many pedestrians and entrances on that trail but today there was a ferry, so the trail, while slower than the traffic is actually less hectic.
Approaching the condos, at the foot of the harbor steps, I approached a couple walking their two poodles.
Their right side (my left) was no good because of another pedestrian and I momentarily wished against the multi-use trail.
I kid you not, everything I describe went through my brain in this order…seriously.

Just then, when I was about 40 yards out, the woman moved hard left (to my right towards the steps) and the man briefly did not.
It was at this point that I was off the “gas” and thinking about alternatives and briefly across the transom of my mind flashed this thought

That guy is belligerently hogging the trail with his dog

Maybe that is about the same time I wished against the multi-use trail.
But as suddenly as I thought it, and two steps later the man also moved hard left – I am about 20-30 yards away now – going an estimated 13-14mph.
Okay, clear road, back on the gas and

BAM

The guy jumps, and I mean literally leaps, back into my path, right where he was, and points at me with his free hand kinda like this.

Only he didn’t have big poofy hair, a robe, and he was caucasian. But the face was eerily similar and amazingly he made as much noise as this picture…none.

I slammed on my brakes, which are actually pretty mushy with wet and dirt and overuse. I slowed to walking speed just three feet in front of him, still in this pose-

and then just as abruptly he non-chalantly assumed a more natural position and walked away with his poodle.

I don’t scare easily, or react abruptly to stimuli such as this (that might be a bad thing…depends on the scenario) so I don’t think he got his desired effect which I can only assume was to make me wreck.
I did get a healthy shot of adrenaline which was released in a string of unprintable words which I can’t remember ever having strung together in exactly that manner before.
Probably not my finest moment – definitely not his.

Another thought that instinctively crossed my mind was to attack him from the back and just as quickly that thought passed.
It’s a good thing it did because the ref always penalizes the second guy and, in the end, he wasn’t worth the wrestle.