Never Fear

I’m still here – I’ve just been INSANELY busy at the office these days.
It isn’t likely to get better anytime soon.

I have some good stuff in the hopper, mostly pictures and a video, but for now I’ll give you something to chew on…a good WeeOne quote.

Daddy…you’re getting old.
What?! Why do you say that?
‘Cause you are…’cause you have grey hairs right here, in your beard!
But…but…you know UncuhJamey has WAYYY more grey hair than I do and he isn’t as old as me, so just because I have grey hairs doesn’t mean you can say that I’m getting old, right?!

[pause]

Daddy?
Yes.
You’re getting old.

She has yet to be accused of lacking persistence.

Staycation 2011 – Part I: The Camping Trip.

Usually I like to write little memorable bits about things that happen as I go – that way I don’t forget them.
This time, I have to condense all two weeks of my staycation into one post…maybe. Perhaps this will be my first multi-part post: stay tuned.

We started with our annual Dash Point camping trip.

Hammock Mermaid Number One
TheWeeOne actually decided to sleep in the hammock the first night – and except for that whole ‘getting cold’ thing at 2AM – it worked out swimmingly.

Hammock Mermaid Number Two
Of course – as you can see – the hammock provided hours of entertainment and screeching. I tried to endure it – but ultimately it was just too concerning: the possibility of a sprained neck and the possibility of a burst eardrum.

Forest Mermaids
We hiked both days. This year, the amphibians were mere tadpoles and the water levels were REALLY high. The huckleberries were in season though – and we even picked enough to make a good pie in the end.


Of course – there was a traditional fire – but this time we had HUGE marshmallows. Amazingly, their girth allows for better cooking. I am not clear on what makes them better but I got some amazing browning – that then allowed for removal of the outer layer and then another browning would do the inner layer again. I even managed a triple after I really perfected my technique – and pumped up TheMermaids blood sugar levels (see Hammock Screeching).

Ultimately, the beach was what we (read as they) were after. We went both days of the weekend and despite extremely high tides and cooler weather, we managed a nice sandcastle and even buried the girls to their necks in sand.
Right before they 'popped their tails'.

And of course – we finished it off with our traditional bench family photo.
Family Bench Photo

As you can see by the title, I have decided that this will be Part I of perhaps three parts.
It is really amazing how even though I was home for all of the two weeks, I didn’t have any significant time to actually blog any of this.

That’s good actually. 🙂

Extreme TV

Today – after a busy week of swimming lessons, camping, museums, zoos, and some housework with few breaks I felt like taking it easy and working on computer maintenance. TheMommy wanted to read and relax.

These are not usually short things – especially when I really haven’t done much of it for ohhhhh, about two years. What was I talkin’ bout? – Oh yeah.

So, when the girls got up and noiselessly started watching their latest Netflix infatuation I didn’t complain (like usual). Then TheMommy and I listened to Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, did some dishes, and…TheMermaids pushed on valiantly.

There isn’t much blow-by-blow to miss here but suffice it to say…it’s now 20:22 and they watched something like 11 hours of TV – with very little interruption (except for when Netflix wanted to go outside and play once).

Un-be-liev-able.
At one point TheMommy even opened the window

Look! It’s sunny outside! Go outside and play?!
Ahhhh? [shading their eyes] It’s too bright!

What are they becoming…moles?

Then, at about 18:30 I approached them, in the dark, deep basement TV room and said

Well? was it worth it?
Worth what?
Worth “it”?! You’ve sat on your butts all day long and watched ‘Charlie’ the whole time – just think of all you’ve missed?

LaGrande just squirmed a little bit but TheWeeOne, with the surety of a seasoned philosopher said blithely

What did we miss?

Oooooh, she’s good that one.

*coming soon – activities actually DONE on my staycation. Lots of pictures.

On independence

There isn’t time to beat around the bush – I still have to catch up on the sleep which was missed in the previous two days.

This all started Saturday night when TheWeeOne figured out we were going to a baseball game the next day. She was so excited she wore her excitement on her sleeve pillow – and her hand.
Take me out...

The next day we trekked to TheLink. Worried about parking and desirous of a full day we arrived at the ballpark with ninety minutes to spare and promptly TheMermaids’ youngest cousin earned his first major league baseball through a handful of diligence and a pro-active Papa.

We toured the scene,
They kinda look like...ahhh...dancers in baseball caps.

tasted the fare, ensured TheMermaids inhaled some fluffy sugar, and watched the Mariners play.
Not a cracker jack among us.

Amazingly, TheMermaids were rapt for the duration.
How rapt were they?
They were so rapt TheWeeOne managed an entire feature length movie on my phone and after the last out, while cheering with us quite loudly, LaGrande asked

Is it over?!
Yep! (Whoooooo!!)
Did we win?!!
Yep!! (wait…wha?)
Yayyyyyyy!!!!!

We trudged back to the train
But...where's Lennon?

and caught a second wind for a wild rumpus in The Tent Majal.
Let the WILD RUMPUS START!

The Tent Majal reading hour.

The next day, stiff neck notwithstanding, we visited with Maggie whilst Gramma Nana and Grampa Troy prepared to take their leave.

Annnnnd back to the house of cousins for a day stocked with hot dogs and cole-slaw, trivia and Mark Twain, The Music Man and bocce, and lots of hula-hoops.
After this multiple attempt - he scored 670 in a row with just one.

Three at once!

A few fireworks oooohed from the front step meant only one thing; the day couldn’t last forever.
A good day.

Dance is the word

Last night LaGrande and TheWeeOne surprised me with their dance skills.
I haven’t been seeing much of their classes this season based on timing and availability but – well holy cow, they did such a great job – I was simply stunned.

dancers

Great job my Mermaids.

Oh yeah, and LaGrande got a surprise haircut.

An arm is still an arm

By way of documenting the first known example of sarcastic humor in TheWeeOne, even though she didn’t mean it sarcastically, here is a good and simple one.
They were sitting in the furthest back seat in the van and LaGrande was practicing some dance movements, undulating her arm up and down.

Hey WeeOne…look…does this look like a wave?
No – It looks like an arm.

When she is 13, and hell-bent on ensuring a daily dose of pragmatism for her 16 year old sister, I expect these types of comebacks…

A lot.

a parent ly

It seems TheWeeOne has her thumb on the pulse of reality far in excess of anything I could have imagined. Ignore the existentialist exercises or epistemological quandries with which we sometimes entertain our adult minds – I’m talkin’ 5 year old realism here.

Last night, the question was posed:

What is a nerd?

I broke out the descriptors, floundered a bit on the background, made a strong attempt at the social stigma aspect. Nothing. Just a blank stare.

So I turned to every fact-nerds savior – Google and my iPhone.

This is a nerd.
Me See! Me See!

revenge is mine

Hmm, that doesn’t look like a nerd. That looks like a parent!

As if I’d been burned by it, my portable-handheld-computing-device flew deep back into my pocket while I continued searching for costume pieces for Nerd Day at LaGrande’s school.

[pictorial evidence has been redacted by client as not fit for a wwwide audience]

Sweet but not sugar

So many folks said that they appreciated the Sugar Sugar post the other day that I will follow it up with some of the substitutes I have found and used to overcome cravings and continue to enjoy some foods.

Your mileage may will vary.

Bread
Plain bread has an amazing amount of sugar in it and, depending on how processed it is, almost no fiber or protein. I LOVE my toasted, peanut butter sammich so I needed to find something.

To make sure that I have a balance of fiber AND taste in the bread without a lot of sugar I have found many (all?) of Dave’s Killer Breads to be a good balance. For a wholesome bread it actually has amazing staying power on the shelf too – which kinda makes me wonder about preservatives. Another time.

Sweet drinks
This is a tough one because there are lot of diet drinks but they nearly always involve something artificial as a sweetener. The only artificial sweetener I can stand is Splenda, which is based on sucralose. They say it’s safe but one of the differences between sucralose and sucrose (regular sugar) is the replacement of hydrogen and oxygen with chlorine. (had to look that one up)

Hmmm, I think I’ll use it only if I don’t have another option. And, for what it’s worth, the less sugar I have, the less often ‘no other option’ occurs – I’m getting accustomed to having less sugar.

However…I have a competing problem. You may recall a couple of posts about a condition which represents THIS!
SHARP AND POINTY
and feels like THIS!
PAIN

This condition-whose-name-only-brings-pangs-of-pain-and-shall-therefore-NOT-be-uttered requires me to drink a lot of water. That and I bike/sweat a lot – in fact [gulp, gulp] ahhhhhh – and if there is one thing that makes me drink plenty of liquid it is a sweetish taste which ensures I will come back to the well.

[tangent]
Ya know, there is a good reason for why humans tend to like sugar; evolutionarily speaking, sugar tends to be associated with more calories, which happens to tend to be associated with survival. Don’t blame yourself, really. Sugar is freakin’ awesome when you get down to it. I mean we are where we are in this world in part because of sugar; and dogs, and thumbs, and frontal cortex’s, and women, and cool knee joints, and our proximity to the sun etc etc…

In a nutshell, it’s not your ‘fault’ sugar tastes so amazing – it just is.
[end tangent]

So, in order to ensure I get more water I found I need to doctor it up a bit.

Recently I found an excellent solution that recently received my naturopaths stamp of approval.

Kool-aid mix, (or RealLemon lemon juice) and stevia. I don’t really like stevia on most things, like coffee or tea or even in baked goods, because I tend to get a pretty wicked, bitter aftertaste that usually overwhelms the sweet intent. It might be the particular stevia products I bought but when I mixed TruVia (stevia based brand) and even other Stevia based sweeteners with kool-aid I didn’t sense any aftertaste and it only required 6 little coffee packets for a two quart batch of kool-aid.

It really tasted delicious and the bitter flavor was either too weak or overwhelmed by the “sour” of the lemon/kool-aid.
A great part of stevia is that it is a naturally occurring thing extracted from the root of something or other. I’m going by memory on most of this and not gonna look it all up – call me lazy. Since stevia isn’t my favorite I don’t recall the details about it’s origins.

Either way, “naturally occurring” sounds better to me than “chlorine enhancement”.

Recently I’ve heard of* a safe and sane Gatorade replacement I am eager to try called ReCharge. (*Naturopath!)

Sugar Alcohols
One thing I learned in like, week 2 of my cold-turkey sugar-fast from a couple years back is that Malitol has a serious deleterious affect (effect?) on my gastrointestinal systems. Without going into details, let’s just say that the pack of Malitol-sweetened licorice I ate in one night resulted in a net loss. Hard stop.

Or would that be a gross loss?

Anywhoooo.
It turns out (thanks to my research on Wikipedia back in the day) that ALL sugar alcohols aren’t absorbed by your intestines in the same way as sugar is: Malitol, Xylitol, Sorbitol, Damnitol, and all the rest (okay I made that last one up)…it turns out they all create varying degrees of distress for your intestines in even moderate quantities. I am sure each person is different and granted I did chow down a super-dose that first time thinking I had found the panacea but I use these sugar-alcohols only sparingly if at all because for me – let’s just say they don’t sit well.

Did I say ALL?
I’m happy I don’t tend to quit looking for the panacea because along the way, during my quest for the sweet and holy grail of sugar-substitutes I quite stumbled into what turns out to be a sugar alcohol that isn’t the same as all the rest. Here’s a mouthful for ya – Erythritol.

[technical tangent]
Officially pronounced as əˈriTHrəˌtôl, but who reads that mess?
I think I’m right in saying eh-RITH-ri-tall.
[end technical tangent]

So Erythritol is just bloody unbelievable.

  • It is naturally derived from fruit sugars via fermentation or manufactured for mass-consumption by fermenting glucose.
  • It IS absorbed by our intestines; no laxative effect, no bloating or gas from the Roman Feast which your intestinal bacterial colonies may have with the other sugar alcohols.
  • And crazy of crazies, this stuff actually starves oral bacteria (probably most or even all sugar-eating bacteria) so it actually PROMOTES oral health. The jury is still out on what other good bacteria it may starve in our bodies. Probably a good reason NOT to eat it by the spoonful.

It isn’t cheap but it can be purchased in bulk, even on Amazon, and you can get a brand called Sweet Simplicity which I have used a LOT for coffee, sprinkled on pancakes, and even baked cookies with it.

Except for it’s price this represents my ultimate victory in non-sugar, natural, sweeteners.

Better For you but still Sugar
At Ouijimaya I found Coconut Sugar – a lot like regular brown sugar but with a really low glycemic index and because it is based on coconuts and only lightly processed it also has all kinds of goodies like potassium, zinc, magnesium, etc. Odd to think of having brown sugar be part of your vitamin regimen – but there it is.

And holy moly – this stuff is GREAT in coffee.

And last but definitely not least – Chocolate
Got your attention didn’t it.
Well don’t get tooooo fired up but I know chocolate is a biggie (Hi Schmub!) and so it deserves special attention.

I was told early on (naturopath again) that I could use dark chocolates as a sweetener in things like trail mix and so I tried it and it was good.

I started out on something like 50-60% dark chocolate and it was kinda bitter, but it salved the craving for chocolate quite well and now, after two years on a mostly low-sugar diet…

[sweet memory tangent]
There was that one time when MyMermaid made me gingersnaps the old fashioned way – I think I ate 18 cookies in about 18 minutes and finished off the last 18 the next day, hot out of the oven like that. OMG.
[end sweet memory tangent]

…I am now quite capable of having 85% Cacao chocolate bars (like Theo) during a movie and except for the caffeine rush that may keep me awake until 3AM I don’t think there is much of a problem with the sugar hit, cause there isn’t much of it. In fact there are lots of other good things in Cacao that tend to offset (at least psychologically) the negatives. There is a fair amount of protein and fiber in dark chocolate. Weaning yourself off of processed, milk-chocolate, isn’t all bad with good dark chocolates like these available.

Whew, there you have it. Who knew I had so much to say about sugar.

If you’ve got more ideas, I am pretty happy with what I’ve found but I do like to experiment on myself so, bring ’em on.