Eulogy for Thomas Erskine

This is the printed word, from which I spoke the eulogy at Thomas Erskine’s funeral service on the 25th of August, 2009. It probably isn’t exactly what I said, I can’t be sure, but it is very, very close.

Introduction
My name is Lief. He would rather have introduced me as Shawn.

While in my youth I may have tried to deflect childish jokes for a unique first name Grampa may have wanted to deflect praise; he once told my brother he preferred a pine box to a fancy coffin. But, praise him I will, and we do, and deservedly so.

We are here in praise of Thomas Erskine. In his 88 long years he was a son, a brother, a husband, a 2nd lieutenant and bombardier, a father, an actor, a marketing manager, a hunter, an anchor, a romantic, a deacon, a servant, a grandfather, a woodworker, a philanthrope, a master gardener, a story teller, and a great grandfather – through it all he was a family man who drove a hard bargain with a legendary handshake and a satchel chock full of one liners.

However, all of this and all of you, would not have been but for one of those strange turns in life that saw Tom, a young bombardier, sent separately to a class while his crew-mates were shot down over enemy lines. Except maybe for Sis over there, you know? He lived with that pain, in the service of our country, for decades. Some salve was applied later to that wound when he found out near the turn of the century that four of his crew-mates survived.

His legacy then, as events would have it, is embodied in us, his family and friends and the myriad steps that bring us all to this place, together, in praise of him and his life.

Overview
In his youth he was called The Ox and throughout his life he cut an imposing figure.

But I bet he didn’t squash Granny’s knuckles when first they met because she married him in 1943 and they were together for 53 years until her passing in 1996.

Together they had seven children and he had pet names for all of them:
Tuggy, TTRTX, ShortFat&4F, Boy, FourEyes, Bones, BrightEyes, and Scutter

At bedtime he would say? “Allright girls, up the golden stairs.”

I am sure many of you carried one or more of his monikers as well.
I really think he had some sort of an inside joke with everybody and it might take another 88 years to find them all.

He dearly loved his family, cherished his time with them, even when he fell asleep in his favorite chair gracing us all with his now infamous open-mouthed snore.

With the passing of his first wife Tom again found love with Maggie and they married in 2000. Apparently he just couldn’t stay away from children and family and endearing women so he endeavored to increase the size of his family two-fold.

Maggie and he enjoyed travelling together and the now even larger family gatherings.
He loved to shine light on her beautiful quilts.

Military
He entered active duty on March 4, 1944, and served admirably as a navigator and bombardier with the 513th Squadron, 376th Heavy Bombardment Group, 15th Air Force.

In addition to the near miss I mentioned before he and his crewmates once limped home on only two engines and a prayer.

He was discharged from active duty in June of 1945
He once said to a daughter that he wasn’t worried during the war because he was living his life as a servant and he was at God’s disposal.

Sense of humor
Growing up with 7 brothers and sisters, Married with 6 daughters and one son, and tacking on a tour of duty – Tom had ample occasion to develop his wry wit.
While he told a good story his one liners were a calling card.

Once on a hiking trip with a family friend, Giuseppe from Italy, the all male outfit treated their guest of honor to the mornings inaugural pancake. Now, these are camping pancakes and likely not the tastiest treat for even a hungry hiker. So, one at a time they endeavored to enjoy their meal, and when Giuseppe’s turn came around again he declined a second helping.
“Plenty Plenty”
Taken aback at this refusal Tom called for a vote.
“Who here thinks Giuseppe should have a second pancake?”
“Aye”
slap :
“That’s Democracy.”

He relished a good joke and drove home his one-liners.

If you asked him a question the answer to which you were not entitled he would answer
Layovers catch meddlers.

For the one that got away?
If dog rabbit.

and of course the self-explanatory:
If you can’t win don’t lose.

The Arts
Tom enjoyed the arts, Poetry, The Theater, Opera.

If you spent any time with him you would hear an opera or two, be read a poem or three and he would sing under his breath leaving a restaurant, or recite snippets at opportune moments throughout the day. You might think he invented the phrase “Trouble in river city” until you chanced on a production of The Music Man.

“The Childrens Hour” by Longfellow was one of his many favorite poems, (an excerpt)

I hear in the chamber above me
The patter of little feet,
The sound of a door that is opened,
And voices soft and sweet.

In his life he circled back to cherish his children and their children…and their children.

Never one to shun good entertainment he would regularly read The Family Circle and Dennis The Menace. He even flaunted a British accent in the theater while living in South Dakota.

I recall attending The Phantom of the Opera with him and while the scale of the production is great – it seemed the grandiose notes were music to his ears while the lyrics, if you could pick them out, really sang to him.

His Italian was measurable and to reinforce your understanding he would simply ask – Capiche?

He loved the arts.

Gardening and Retirement
I wrote down here that he “retired” in 1980 but for my whole life, and perhaps many of yours, I remember that a call from Grampa was a call for work.
He dug post holes
He planted trees
He built decks
He installed toilets
and so many other things too numerous to count

He became a master gardener with no small measure of skill and was proud of his Christmas tree plantation.
He would later donate 50 Christmas trees per year to charity so the less fortunate could celebrate Christmas with a proper tree.

He loved to do stuff with his hands.

Faith
Thomas completed training as a Deacon in the Catholic Church and was ordained in the first Deaconite class of the Archdiocese of Seattle in 1973. He served as Deacon at St. Madeleine Sophie in Bellevue and later at Our Lady of Good Counsel in Eatonville, WA.

One of the larger aspects of Tom’s life was his commitment to service. He felt blessed with a strong family – so with a deep commitment to service and sacrifice, a deep commitment to his God and his religion, and with an enduring belief in himself he reached out to others in the community who had less.

He shared what they lacked: advice for a hard decision, money for a tough month, food for a hungry mouth, a hammer for a loose nail, and perhaps the most difficult – an ear when someone wasn’t heard.

But he didn’t just give, he firmly believed that he must teach that man to fish. His reward was the sense of community and cohesion he built in his service

“By myself I couldn’t do diddly. I couldn’t drive myself (to work) if not for the support of the people.”
– Thomas Erskine 1985

He was at God’s disposal – he loved, and lived, to serve.

Philanthropy
The first act of pure philanthropy of which I am aware was that night when he heard of his crew-mates fate. He set about treating his Italian host family to a lavish dinner. They were likely subject to rationing but it seems like Tom, even then, held a deep and abiding respect for life and family.
He celebrated the living.

As a member of the church, he would volunteer at BBQ’s slaving over the hot coals, and as a father he would make fresh white popcorn for trick-or-treaters.

His focus continually returned to the children, whether his own or those of strangers; children remained central.

In later years he expended much energy donating his time for children in need in his parish. He recently personally ensured that thousands of donated dollars were spent on cart loads of childrens toys, to be given at Christmas time. And when he found out that the establishment gave a 10% discount for charitable buying he cinched up his belt and added to the haul with a drive hardly recognizable as an octogenarian.

He loved giving and he most loved giving to children.

Conclusion
With Grampa it really began and ended with service and family.

He was safe and secure in his home with Maggie and his only son when he passed.
He volunteered, during my last visit, that he was happy with his life and that he felt he had done the best he could with a mistake or two along the way.

And I know that every time he saw his children and their children (and their children) flit about his home and about his feet he was happy.

Where have you gone then Grampa? – Layovers catch meddlers.
You’ll be allright then? – If dog rabbit.
Ok well, up the golden stairs then with you and remember, if you can’t win don’t lose.

We all love you Grampa, capiche?