A whopper

Tonight I read The Emperors New Clothes…
…only the finest, and the colors were exquisite. He…

Dadda?
Yes?
What’s ‘eggkwisite’?
(it was TheWeeOne)
It means ‘great’ or ‘awesome’.
Oh.

I was content with my definition and I tried to move on but there was an almost imperceptible wiggle, in the peaceful blue water in front of me, a skillful tug at the line.

Dadda.
Yes?
‘Exkwisite’ means big, reaaally big.

Wha? Now pause || Right here.

LaGrande was also there, paying attention, and she saw something she recognized. She wasn’t quite sure but she had seen these little tantalizing worms on hooks before – just hanging there – and something told her they were to be avoided. She leaned over into my far ear and casually waved the back of her hand and said

It’sokay, jus…just let her…

But she didn’t finish because I was already nibbling.

Wha? No it doesn’t sweetie, it means ‘awesome’.
(LaGrande now, with a helpful movie reference and because she too couldn’t resist the wiggle) It’s like B-Awesome!
Yeah, like B-Awesome!

No it isn’t Dadda, it means big…and stretchy!

Right there she saw me rise, felt the telltale nibble, and set the hook.
LaGrande slumped a little bit, swam off, and I was dazed, confused, and suddenly at full tilt, what is this *thing* in my lip?

Wha? B-b-b-but it says that “the color was exquisite“. Can a color be big?
Yeah.
How do you make a color big?
Dadda, it means stretchy.

Even weirder, I couldn’t even swim the direction I thought I could swim.

Okay, well then how do you make a color stretchy? Is this pink (in the bedsheet) stretchy? How do you stretch a color, like this pink?

Oh the splashing, what a fighter! But, not much point to this then is there. Amid the ruckus she reached out and skillfully pulled on the sheet and stretched it mightily as if to say…see – don’t worry, it’s gonna be just fine.

Ack!

I flailed some more, came fully out of the water, looking around for something hard, and pointed to the headboards of the big yellow bed.

What about this yellow? Is it stretchy? How can you stretch this yellow?

Being reeled in unawares, I still felt I had my head, but the surface approached. She reached out and pressed her hands across the smooth surface of the headboard and with a sly giggle said

You can’t…Dadda…(like don’t you know) it isn’t exquisite.

Whoa, i was suddenly landed! Wha, in..a…boat. What just happened?
I flopped around for a few short seconds sucking in gills-full of pure oxygen. I could only hope for a peaceful resolution.

My captor was merciful – there was no barb – and after only a small indignity, I was released.

‘Exquisite’ is, for now, stretchy-big.