2011 100 Miles of Nowhere

In the Bald, Front-Wheel-Drive, Moving-Bottom-Bracket Division – I wasn’t prepared for what 100MoN would do to me.

• It wasn’t the distance – I’ve done 100 miles before.
• It wasn’t the start time – I got up at 03:30 for a 04:00 start
• It wasn’t the course – I chose a 1 mile loop with a promise of about 13,000 feet of elevation gain over the 100 miles, but the proximity to my house was FANTASTIC (as in, right out my front door) so, I could deal.
• It wasn’t my bike – contrary to popular belief it climbs really well and I commute on it every day.
• It wasn’t even the amount of time it would take – but…then it was.

I was looking forward to having The Mermaids come out and greet me when they woke up – which they did.

La Grande Mermaid even planned on having me throw my bottle by the side of the road

Just like they do on TV Daddy!

so she could fill it up for me in time for the next lap – which she did.

BopOp even said he would ride up and join me for a few laps – just for fun – which he did.

And as it turns out my aunt and uncle (cancer survivor!), my Mom, my wife, my neighbors, they all came out over the course of the morning.
I thought this might generate some interest – and I was pumped – I almost couldn’t wait to start the madness.

But back to the beginning, at 04:09 I’m in my first descent of the day and at the bottom of the hill I’m already caught rolling the stop sign with a traffic camera flash!

What the wha?

and out of the darkness I hear

HEY! It’s your Grampa!

I suppose when you’re pushin’ 90 and you wake up at 03:00 to photograph your grandson doing something nonsensical like this you’re allowed to refer to yourself in the third person. So I said…

What are you doing here at this time of the morning? Are you crazy?

Well, yeah, and so are you – where do you think YOU get it from?

I usually quibble but this time I didn’t.
I was happy for an early morning audience and so I pushed on…right up until my rear shifter broke on lap 5.

So I waited in line at the mechanic-tent and finally strapped my derailer (thanks Sheldon Brown) into the biggest cog with a spare inner tube and got back on the horse. After only about three laps, and an incredible all-out sprint, I caught up with the leaders again.
I was unstoppable this day!

I suffered some creeping doubts between lap 15 and lap 25 but when BopOp showed up the conversation brought me back – it is better riding WITH someone than alone to be sure. I’m really not sure how those RAAM folks do that ride…oy.

Anyway, with my SRAM Rival Compact-Double I couldn’t get into my big chainring without significant cross-chaining so I was stuck in granny low. It was fine for most of my up-or-down route but there were a few semi-flat areas where some extra gearing would have been nice.

I spun out at about 10 mph and THAT, as it turns out, is why I ended up only completing 70 laps on the day.

70 Laps
At about lap 50 I came to realize that it was taking and INORDINATE amount of time to complete each lap – the conversation distracted me well enough but each lap was taking about six and a half minutes and my average speed was in the low 10’s. With a few breaks here and there I was looking at a 12-13 hour day.

And to top it off, dang near the whole family was sitting there, idling away their day, just waiting for me to come around again.
So for 10 laps I cross-chained when I could and brought my lap times down to about 5 minutes.
At this point BopOp was riding every third lap, and I was getting that pig-headed “I’m never going to quit” thing going in my head.

But every lap…there they all were…just waiting, helping, and really at that point (in my mind) missing their whole day – just for this.

So at 70 Miles (and, as it turns out, an additional 34 from BopOp) and at 1:30PM with 7.5 hours on the bike, I completed the 2011 100 Miles Of Nowhere and spent the rest of the day with the podium girls.

I even ended up playing an epic 3 hour game of Monopoly with LaGrande, annnnnd she pretty much dropped me like Contador in the mountains of Italy – I had nothing.

But that’s not the end…it’s a good story for 100MoN but it took me a couple days to work out that I wasn’t prepared for the psychology of it.
I was looking forward to ‘bringing the race to my family’ in order to get to share the event but the proximity made it even more difficult to irrationally miss spending a beautiful day with them.

We could really rather do something more enjoyable for everyone.

I don’t mind inflicting this kind of foolishness on myself, and in a lot of cases I rather relish it; heavy rain, chilling cold, punishing heat, epic winds…well maybe not the winds but…stacking the odds like that seems to add character and flavor to have experienced something at the extreme. But today, that day, I was inflicting it on them, all of them. I even implored the group a couple of times to go do something else other than just…watch me.

I mean they were helping, and they were chatting, and they even wanted to be there but the proximity of this ride really drew them and me into some sort of in-between state – and maybe this sounds corny but – it ended up feeling like I imagine it might feel to be sick.
Really sick, for a long time, and then having deep seated resentment for your condition but mostly based on the unimaginable effort undertaken by your friends, family, and loved ones. For putting them out.

They say they don’t mind, and they DON’T, really – they want to be there for you, they love you. But you’re stuck, in a bed, or a hospital, or your own personal 100 Miles of Nowhere and if you had the choice you wouldn’t put them through it anymore. But at the same time, the few times you are alone, your mind gets the best of you and if it wasn’t for them you just…might…go…nuts.

I don’t know what else to say except I was lucky I guess, because on this day I had a choice and I took it.

That’s what we do, we have the choice, to do a ridiculous thing and ride 100 Miles of Nowhere expressly in honor of those who don’t have a choice. People just like you and me that don’t have a choice to just stop their cancer, take the burden off of their family, and go play Monopoly instead. They fight real hard. They fight all the time.

Here’s to them.

And next year I’m going to make another choice – a flatter choice.
A route where we can all join in the fun.
Thanks Fatty, for a great race.